Not being attached to the outcome
When you are attempting to do something big in your life, whether it’s to start a new business, lose 75 pounds, or simply being a more positive person, it is so important to not be attached to the outcome.
I know I used to have a huge problem with being way to attached to outcomes. Not achieving my goal times in swimming would bring me down. Not earning “enough” money would lower my self esteem. Not having the life I wanted would stress me out!
It is a hard thing to do, but once you accept this idea of non-attachment, life flows a lot more smoothly.
Let’s say you are the person that wants to lose 75 pounds. You jump on this new low carb diet full force, and you lose 3 pounds the first week. The next week you lose 2 more. The following week you don’t lose any weight. “That’s it! I’m going back to pizza!” you proclaim out of frustration. This is exactly why diets don’t work, and why they are always attached to an often immediate outcome.
Instead, a good way to look at it is- I’m changing my lifestyle to health. I am going to eat as healthy as I can most of the time, and I’m not going to step on the scale daily. If I change my eating lifestyle to a healthy one, I know I am doing the best thing for myself that I can. The results will show eventually, and I will be growing as a person and not be filled with stress and anxiety over it.
Try it out with some smaller things. Give someone a compliment today and don’t even worry about their reaction. Do it because you want to brighten their day! Non-attachment is one of the keys to maintaining a relaxed, happy life, as opposed to basing everything you do on someone else’s standard.
Gina on Sat, 7th Aug 2010 1:41 pm
Hi Kevin & Wes,
I love the podcast and listen faithfully every week. Can you address the relationship between gluten intolerance and diabetes at some point on the podcast or blog?
I keep hearing about how changing your environment/diet can really affect how your genes are expressed. I have a very rare form of diabetes (MODY-2) which is a genetic defect and I wonder if taking those last few hidden sources of gluten out of my diet will help.
Thanks for all you do
Wes on Sun, 8th Aug 2010 9:38 pm
Sure thing, Gina. I’m not too familiar with gluten intolerance myself, but I am going full-on paleo soon, in order to see how my type 1 diabetes (i.e., autoimmune attack on my beta cells) responds to it. Will report the results on the podcast.
I like the message in Kev’s post here too: be the best you can be (given your nutritional knowledge and motivation and increased self-knowledge) and the great results will show in turn. An excellent process will yield a fine outcome eventually, so it’s important to accept one’s fretful feelings when they arise, breathing into them (“owning” them) and allow them to dissipate…
Cheers,
W
April on Thu, 19th Aug 2010 6:38 pm
What a great post! I often struggle with this myself, but now I’m just lookin to take things one day at a time and be proud of myself for all the good things I’m doing for my body.
Have either of you heard of the Beck Diet Solution? It’s designed to work with any type of diet, and gives you a 6-week plan for changing the way you view living a healthy lifestyle. Dr. Judith Beck, who wrote the book(s), would be someone I’d definitely like to hear on your podcast show if possible…
Wes on Sat, 21st Aug 2010 10:25 pm
Indeed, April. Focusing on health and well-being is a daily process, in which small actions yield major long-term benefits. I am familiar with Dr. Beck’s Diet Solution, and of course cognitive therapy. How we think about food, about ourselves, and about our own actions in relation to eating, matters a great deal, as does having the correct nutritional information–which is where we must part ways with Beck’s dietary agnosticism. I’m sure it would make for a great interview, nonetheless. Cognitive therapeutic methods are all about raising one’s awareness and resolving self-conflict via disputation of irrational thought patterns and replacing them with rational and realistic ones, so that one feels better and acts in healthy ways as a consequence. Thanks for the recommendation. I’ll see what we can do. :) Best wishes, W