118 – Facets of shame
Podcast: Download (Duration: 42:59 — 29.5MB)
(duration 42:58) After covering Kev’s summer travels in Europe, in our second episode about shame we discuss the various aspects of shame and guilt. Since shame is the opposite of self-esteem, “healthy shame” isn’t really possible. Both shame and guilt are tragic ways to assess oneself and one’s actions (as well as others), which stem from experiencing shaming, blaming, and punitive parenting strategies. Harboring enemy images and choosing to play the costly game of “Who’s right?” tend to degrade or diminish our present-moment experiences and our well-being and happiness. It’s vital to strive to break the cycles of the past that are rooted in trauma, as well as learn compassionate communication that’s connected to needs. This process entails moving from rewards and punishments to love and reason (as Alfie Kohn notes in his book Unconditional Parenting).
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