109 – The perfectionist


(duration 15:24) As we explore various “inner critics,” we’re basically identifying parts that represent aspects of unhealed developmental trauma. In this episode we cover the voice of the perfectionist, which sets oftentimes unreasonable standards and expectations that don’t allow us to live freely with creative ease and peace of mind. Even though doing something “perfectly” is seen in our culture as doing the absolute best, this can overlook unhealthy emotional aspects, such as undue stress, anxiety, self-judgment, and of course the aftermath of diminished self-worth when expectations aren’t met.

Our self-worth need not depend on the “perfection” of our various life processes. Commonly, empathy and attunement to self-worth get overlooked by parents and other “authority” figures and, then, by ourselves when we internalize their critical judgments. The notion of perfect functioning as human beings means to honor our fallible nature. To honor our processes of making mistakes and correcting them means that they become less of a big deal, which reflects self-acceptance and self-trust. Here are a few sentence stems to provide 6-10 endings for:

If I can strive to do my best without being perfect, I might…
If I didn’t have to be perfect, I might…
Perfection to me means…


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bumper music
Kosheen – All in my head (Planet Funk Remix)