Do you have a goal in your life that you have wanted to accomplish for a long time, but can’t seem to get there? Is there something you need to get handled, like a career or relationship situation, a specific amount of money you want, a location you’d like to visit, or a shape you would like your body to be- and it’s driving you nuts that it hasn’t happened already?
Everyone has a saboteur within that helps “keep them safe”. Often, this saboteur keeps us so safe that it prevents us from getting what we want. For example, I have to get out of my comfort zone to ask for that raise. It’s what I really WANT, but something holds me back from asking my boss for more money.
Thoughts that go through my head may be “Who am I to want more money? What will my boss think of me if I ask? I’ll feel like a fool if the answer is no! I may get fired!!!” and on and on.
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These are all examples of that saboteur trying to keep you in your comfort zone.
Think about weight loss.
Many similar thoughts apply here:
“If I lose weight, I will change, and I may not like who I become.”
“My friends won’t like me as I improve myself.”
“I won’t be able to enjoy myself if I have to change my diet.”
“Who do you think you are? You’re a fat person. You’re just never going to be thin, so forget trying!”
And on and on.
This is your saboteur, doing its best to keep you safe from change. Sure, there is a place for your saboteur, in the face of danger it is good to listen.
But it will kick in for everyone at some point when you’re going after a positive change in your life.
The best thing you can do is make friends with this saboteur. Give it a name. Listen to her. Do not fight her. Instead, understand what she is trying to do, thank her, and proceed to take the action you know is the right one.
Notice how the saboteur kicks in when you are with groups. Think about it next time. Don’t put yourself on autopilot, instead, listen to these thoughts. See if you can acknowledge them, and move on, without a struggle. Really observe what is going on inside, and you will find that whatever is holding you back will become less and less of a factor until it’s finally normal to here this voice and act anyway!